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Introducing: Twitcher!

Submitted by Jim Downey on June 14, 2009 - 6:59am.

Satire

Interesting:

Introducing: Twitcher!

New technology allows for expansion of popular networking site.

In preparation for going public, and to help push their entire social network one step further technologically, the Twitter group has been testing a new application which allows for the direct stimulation of certain portions of the human brain. If users have one of the newer 3G phones now available on the market and download a special software script they will be able to make use of the new service.

The application is simplicity itself: first a normal "tweet" is sent alerting followers to position their phone above either ear, and explaining the sensation they are about to experience. Then a new message is sent which enables the phone to focus a very brief and mild microwave signal at a designated point in the brain. For decades scientists have been able to elicit sensations using direct electrical stimulation of the brain, and recent breakthroughs using microwave energy, combined with more precise brain-mapping, have allowed similar results without the need to perform surgery. But this is the first widespread commercial application of this technology.

It is anticipated that particularly celebrities with thousands of followers will be popular users of the new application, sharing with their fans some basic emotional responses and even certain physiological effects.

The company is calling the new service "Twitcher", because of the effects that some types of stimulation elicit.

Interesting, indeed. A whole new age of telecommunications is upon us.

Jim Downey

(Cross posted to my blog.)

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